Buddha Quotes

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Merry Christmas, everyone. We hope you had a wonderful holiday and that you spent time with people you love. One thing I have learned in our experience in living with Alzheimer's (in our case, living with early onset of Alzheimer's, advanced)is to create memories. This is, in deed, a memorable holiday.

We came together as a family, rose above our grief, focused on the things we are grateful for, and embraced as a family unit. We had a wonderful holiday.

Our life is not simple any more, but life is still precious. Celebration was a breath of fresh air. It feels a bit like a milestone for me, as I feel the fog lift from my brain, feel the thought processes once again start to spin and whirl. I celebrate that I recognized when it was time to reach out for support.

I recognized my own battle with anxiety and depression and kissed the thought of eternal peace once or twice these past couple of months. When I awoke from this dream- surreal as it is- I recognized I must take every single step with intention, with bold movement, to be healthy, to heal myself and others. To help my son make this life a statement of exceptional existence. To help Bill feel safe. I walked into the infamous room 405 to find my husband, Bill, sobbing. I walked in and embraced him as I would have embraced my child. I felt a stream of tears as he as he said, I thought you forgot me. I thought I would have to be alone today." This shell of a man that houses the father of my son was sobbing in fear and sorrow. He had forgotten I was coming to get him. He thought he was alone. God softened my heart this morning and just maybe some of those walls I have erected to protect myself from caring about my husband, from worry of physical threat, from thinking I could no longer feel due to emotional saturation, hopelessness were forced to melt. In that moment I felt those walls slowly crack and then crumble and for that moment, I forgave. I felt peace. I knew I had done everything I could do to save my marriage, to heal my husband, to protect my family. I let go.

Forgiveness is not something we do for other people. We do it for ourselves to get well and move on. It doesn't mean you forget the hurt, we just don't allow it to keep us in that place forever.~(gail)~




2 comments:

  1. Another great piece. I am so glad that Christmas went well for you and Bill. Good times are so limited with this terrible disease. I have some preliminary ideas regarding what we discussed. I'll put some things down this week and e-mail them to you. Right now I'm going to share this on FB and Twitter :). Talk to you later...

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  2. ((hugs))
    Breathe easy knowing that you are indeed doing all you are able. Much love to you my dear friend!

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