Buddha Quotes

Friday, November 26, 2010

Thoughts


11/26/2010
The first round of tests have ruled out a brain tumor and strokes. The doctors have told me it's not stress and it is serious. I knew that. In my heart I knew it. They are calling it cognitive impairment. The neurologist asked me if I can still handle him at home. I feel frustrated because I don't know what it actually is- and because I don't know if it really matters what form of impairment it is. He's been through such a horrible experience here at Lake Superior State University. His first job reviews were superior. Then the power went to Paige G, known to be a man hater and self serving. Bill received support from his coworkers but they were also limited because she has all ready ruined the lives of many. How does someone so evil get the power? I watched my husband go from organized, knowledgable, confident to fearful, stressed, forgetful. We took his poor reviews to the state level and won, but the rewrites were nearly as degrading and by that time he was wearing down. Did this cause the downfall in his health? Absolutely. I believe with all my heart that working in a violent work environment simply speeded up the process of cognitive impairment. When someone takes away hope it is like piercing the soul. Students still call, his co-workers union still call with hopes of "getting her" back and correcting a horrible wrong. Today they sent him a card. He shed a tear. It said they still believe in him. To pursue this legally or not? I think of the years of productivity that he has been robbed of. I am in grief. Jack is heartbroken. He asked me last night if he would be this way some day? I pray but I feel far from God's ear, even though I know He hears. I hear the pounding in my head, the anxiety in my heart and wonder what is the right way to go.

1 comment:

  1. Lyn, I dont even know what to say right now except that my heart is with you on this journey. It does not sound like an easy road. Hang in there and know that I am supporting you emotionally. Remember your inner strength. Remember your training. Remember that everything you have experienced so far in life brings you to where you are now. Call upon your experience and you energy. Somehow you will be strong enough. I love you.
    Bart

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