Wednesday, January 1, 2014

The New Year's Resolution

The New Year's Resolution: 

I'm a sentimental old fool, but I like to be happy. Although I know this to be true of every day, today above all days is a chance for new beginnings; a fresh slate, so be it.

The life of a caregiver can be pretty complicated. My  responsibilities are immense, the bills are overwhelming, and the tiny voices

in the back of my mind can be very convincing that that my inability to fix everything makes me inadequate and unworthy.

Then I am reminded that the whole world is mine. I crush through the imaginary glass ceiling of self doubt. I call on the One and force myself to remember through meditation and prayer that I am safe.
I breath in the breath of life,
and remember there are no limits, no worries of being good enough, smart enough, brave enough.

I am enough. The Superwoman cape and the WonderWoman super power wrist band comes out, and I let myself dream that there are no limits. I turn my back
to the voices and embrace that I am to be loved and to succeed and that my experience can be a lighthouse for others. Let me say it again: I am enough.

When I was a little girl I used to dream that I could fly. Walking down the blacktop, the winds blowing fiercely through my hair, I lift my arms, close my eyes, and feel myself lifting. There are times I swear that I can almost fly.

This year I will:

remember I do not have to be perfect;    
                 remember that others are human also;
                        remember the universe does not need me to control it;

take time for me;
                 write the word no in my calendar so I do not feel guilty when I need                                me time;
let go of the things that no longer serves me;

take more risks;
           try new things;
                  say yes more often;
                            allow my heart to be open to love;

free myself from trying to be the person I think I ought to be, and concentrate more on the person I am;

give thanks each morning
                      and again at night.

This year I will practice flying in my dreams.

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