Create a list of 3 things in your life that makes you happy

Create a list of 3 things in your life that makes you happy

My list comes to mind almost simultaneously: 

Freedom from fear

       

                Freedom from anxiety

                     Breathing, listening, living

Freedom of fear

Freedom from anxiety

Breathing, listening, living

For the longest time (most of my married life, actually) I blamed myself for the shortcomings in our marriage. I tried to fix the relationship but I couldn't, of course.  And, of course now I know my husband was most likely already experiencing antecedents of onset of Alzheimer's. It was the beginning of a lengthy battle of hopelessness and helplessness and fear: fear of raising my son alone, fear of starting over. At times it was paralyzing.

Our war with Alzheimer's began eighteen years ago when Bill was 40. My God has lifted me up and carried me above and continues to do so thanks to my deep desire to believe in my Higher Power (I have faith in Jesus) and, thank God, am drawn towards wellness and peace and focus on spirituality and faith. I am surrounded by my family who know only how to love. I am embraced by my beautiful friends, old, new, and renewed. Despite what my eyes can see, despite what my ears can hear, I have found peace in my life.

Many years ago when I was but seven years in my marriage, I asked the Lord to heal my marriage, to give me strength to overlook the hurt and pain, and the ability to live "until death do you part." I believe God has shown me that I am much stronger than I feared I was.  I have found peace in my life. Oh, I face sadness when I visit my husband today and see a whisper of the man I married. Ironically, his demeanor is so very close to the man I fell in love with that I find myself almost forgetting our past. Maybe forgetting is another answer to prayer? All I know is that I am learning to let go of fear, let go of anxiety, and open myself up to happiness. Anyone else want to join me?