February 21, 2012

I'm coming off a nice let down after finishing the first step in Bill's application for SSDI. I have a lot to learn. Sometimes I have so many 'to do's' that I freeze up and avoid doing those things with every ounce of resistance I have. OMG. Talk about draining. Duh. Next two focuses: certification and taxes. I know. I keep putting taxes at the end, but most of the stuff I have put first take time to process. I felt I needed to try to jump on those things first. I'm not too good at this stuff but I keep taking it a step at a time.

Bill's been pretty good until the last week or so. I think he's angry or grieving since we went to apply for SSDI. Poor Jack. I have had to step forward pretty boldly to save his life a few times. Jack tends to over correct Bill. It sends Bill threw the roof. Jack puffs up and generally a testosterone battle occurs.

Ok, so I have to try to step in and protect my cub before the big brown bear eats him and I don't escalate that one angry bear at all. Thank God it doesn't happen all the time, lol. Jack sort of over anticipates and feels responsible. I remember being pretty much the same way at his age. He's kinda dense when it comes to taking subtle hints to back off, but so far no blood has been shed.

Jack is enjoying 16. He got his driver's license and two girls fought over him recently. It doesn't really get any better than that. Work's going good. I feel much better after a bout with the crud. Love my job, my staff, and my kids. We have so much fun every day. I am pulling in some inner strength to go above and beyond what I've been doing for the kids. I love this job.

I'm sort of reflecting tonight. I miss my family. It's aunt Lois' birthday. We talked for quite awhile tonight, and it made me so happy to be in a family like ours. Our Bill (aka the Colonel) isn't doing good. He has COPD and is extended in his stomach area. He's very uncomfortable, tests are taking way too long, and they are - we are scared. We support each other from where we are. It made me think of moving home, of not being there when I lost my dad. Never in all my life would I ever guess I would not be there to say goodbye. I have been very blessed but I have lost so much. I will not look back, but I will try to make it better for the rest of my time with my family.

Ok. Next time we'll lighten up. We laugh so much. The old dog just jumped up on the couch (a miracle for his age), Bill pops up out of his chair shouting, 'Holy cow. How much longer do ya think he'll last?" He absolutely cracks me up. This morning he had on two stocking caps. They angled on his head and he looked like a ram. Hilarious site in the morning. He said his little head was cold. It was one degree this morning. One. Holy cow.

February 11, 2011

It's Friday night and I have just gotten home from a three day trip for Autism training in LaPeer. We've had a few days with noticably more confusion for Bill. He got his medications mixed up for awhile. He ran out before he should have so he had to wait three days for insurance to cover the meds. I worry so much when I'm gone but the breaks are also a real blessing. I was sick with an upper respiratory thing so I think the break was really helpful for me. I was sick, but I think I got more rest than I would have at home, and it sounds like Bill and Jack had some nice time together. Jack has all ready left for his final wrestling match for the year so we talked on the phone. We probably passed each others' vehicles around Gaylord :D. It was my first time to cross the Mackinac Bridge during a white out and high winds. We were saying our prayers, let me tell you.

We go to Social Security on Tuesday to complete the process.

Hugs. Lyn

February 4, 2011

Well, tomorrow is Bill's 53rd birthday. He's been more confused than usual this weekend. I'm sick so my tolerance level is low. God bless us. We are slowly making progress on our life changes. I have requested transcripts. I have printed my application for a Kansas Certificate. I have even applied at the Wichita Public Schools. I have to get my student loans turned around so I don't totally screw up our credit scores. Yadda yadda yadda... insurance has agreed to help with the house. So much so much... still taking training to teach online. Got the info for turning on electric and water. Renters left a bill. Of course they did. Bill's medical tests are done and we are supposed to begin applying for SSDI.